Abby Sunderland: a lesson in dreaming big

I am sitting here on a United flight headed to Mexico for a quick getaway with some friends. Just a few days. Long enough to relax but not long enough for people to realize I was even gone. As we approach the airport in Cancun, I can’t help but think of Abby Sunderland, a new blogger I began following a few weeks ago. Her story is an amazing one and has a connection to Mexico.

Abby is 16 years old and is one of 7 children. She lives in Thousand Oaks, CA and has been around boats and water since she was an infant. From the time she was 13, Abby knew exactly what she wanted to do in life. She wanted to be the youngest person ever to sail around the world solo. Her parents and friends thought she was kidding and tried to reason her out of it. But every time they would bring it up, she just kept asking “where’s my boat?”.

Two weeks ago, Abby left Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and is sailing solo around the world. I don’t know about you but it takes a minute for my brain to let that fact sink in. It will take her six months. Thanks to technology, she is connected to a support team that helps her navigate and keeps her safe. And here’s the part I find so fascinating. Not only is she living this dream, but she blogs about it every day from her boat at AbbysBlog.

We can learn about the mechanics of Wild Eyes, her 40-foot sailboat, and read about the squid that keep hanging out on her deck. She writes about cooking in her small galley, how she sleeps (or doesn’t) and the emotions she experiences on her journey. I love how it makes my challenges seem so insignificant and manageable. I work through my issues surrounded by the convenience of instant access to people, food, shelter, and comfort. Abby is on a boat, by herself, in the middle of the ocean. I LOVE that!

Here’s the other part I love. How does a 16 year girl get the inspiration to sail around the world alone when the rest of us don't even go to the ladies room by ourselves? She got inspired because she watched her older brother to the exact same thing the year before. How wonderful for her that she had proof of exactly how much is possible, even at her age, when you dream big and you don’t take no for an answer.

My kids are teenagers and just a few years younger than Abby. Her story inspires me to spend more time reminding them of what’s possible and less time warning them about all the things that can go wrong.

Three days of BlissDom - is it really over?

I am writing this from the plane on my way back from BlissDom 2010, one of the largest blogging conferences for women. It’s a good thing the flight to Denver is several hours from Nashville and that I forgot my book, and don’t have an internet connection. It gives me time to reflect on the time I spent with some of the most inspiring, giving, talented women I have ever met in one place. I’m sure it will take me days or even weeks to process everything and fully absorb the impact those women will have on my life but for now, I will just let myself breath and simply remind myself that it really did happen. It wasn’t a dream.

To fully grasp how soulful this experience was for me, you have to first know that I live in a houseful of men (my partner and three teenage boys). I also work with all men at my company. My online world is teaming with sisters – thousands of them, but my day-to-day connections are mostly with men. That’s not a bad thing at all - its just a different energy.

I really did spend three days with 500 women who are all on a quest to share their stories and inspire their communities. I really did get to learn from phenomenal bloggers who shared their knowledge about writing, social media and branding. I really did get to eat, play, and laugh with writers and artists who are following their passions and blazing a trail for millions of other women. And I really did get to present to them all at the final night’s keynote address. The best part of it all was that somewhere along the way in the conversations about SEO, PPC and ad models, I made some really good friends.

Once I process the whole experience, I will surely write more posts since I could never fit my thoughts all into one. For now, I am savoring every memory and smiling to myself. I am already excited about going next year!

My own Happiness Project

I've been reading Gretchen Rubin's new book, The Happiness Project. I'm only on chapter 2 (which is all about remembering love) and I can already tell its my kind of book. I have a bent for books that inspire me to stretch beyond the status quo and strive for something just a bit better. It always is worth the read. And I especially like books about happiness. I have total respect for any author that tries to tackle a topic as nebulous and epic as happiness. Its like trying to get rid of the common cold. There are a million remedies for how to make you suffer less, shorten the duration, and cover the symptoms, but there still isn't a real cure.

There are some other great books I've read on happiness. One favorite is Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. This is not an easy read, very scientific, but fascinating none-the-less. "The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task."

Another great book on happiness was What Happy People Know, by Dan Baker, Ph.D. This one was an easy, enjoyable read. One of the points I remember the most was that happy people tend to have positive spins on their past, even if their lives were full of trauma and challenge. Happy people also tend to believe they are lucky.

Happiness, by Mattieu Ricard was another book I read during my happiness bender but I only got half-way through and never finished. Not sure why. It was certainly well-written and well-researched but I think it just never spoke to my heart. If I am in search of knowledge or information, I'll stick it out with a book that doesn't inspire me, just to get at the core of the insight. But if I want motivation or inspiration, you gotta make me FEEL something. Matthieu Ricard was a Buddhist monk so that alone should make me want to finish it, but something must have distracted me. Chocolate cake often does that.

What earnest quest for happiness would be complete without The Art of Happiness by His Holiness The Dalai Lama? I love this geeky leader of Tibet. He came to Denver about 3 years ago and we dragged all the kids to hear him speak. Of course they had the attention spans of gnats but I think you get something out of just being in the presence of enlightenment like that (kinda like fresh air, sunshine, or a big glass of milk). I read this a long time ago and can't even remember what he wrote but I'm sure it was poignant and left some inner animated happiness knight deep in my psyche who still battles my inner pessimism at night with a big Excaliber-like sword while I sleep. Maybe that's why I wake up with headaches.

Why is it that we can read the same advice over and over and still not get it? Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty damn happy. In fact, my nickname growing up was Jolly Holly. Not as classy or cool as some nicknames but evidence I was born with a good, solid dose of contentment. Its just that a lot of these books draw the same conclusions. Happiness is not about money, fame, power, sex, or beauty. Its about things that are deeper, simpler, and so much more within our grasp. In fact, its there for the taking. So why do we make it so hard? I think that is for each person to answer on their own.

I know that I will forget many of the insights I will read about in Gretchen Rubin's book. But I like being in the presence of words about happiness. And when I forget, I'll find the next best-selling book about happiness and read that one. And the next one. And maybe, one day, some of it will start to sink in. And that thought makes me happy :)