Three days of BlissDom - is it really over?

I am writing this from the plane on my way back from BlissDom 2010, one of the largest blogging conferences for women. It’s a good thing the flight to Denver is several hours from Nashville and that I forgot my book, and don’t have an internet connection. It gives me time to reflect on the time I spent with some of the most inspiring, giving, talented women I have ever met in one place. I’m sure it will take me days or even weeks to process everything and fully absorb the impact those women will have on my life but for now, I will just let myself breath and simply remind myself that it really did happen. It wasn’t a dream.

To fully grasp how soulful this experience was for me, you have to first know that I live in a houseful of men (my partner and three teenage boys). I also work with all men at my company. My online world is teaming with sisters – thousands of them, but my day-to-day connections are mostly with men. That’s not a bad thing at all - its just a different energy.

I really did spend three days with 500 women who are all on a quest to share their stories and inspire their communities. I really did get to learn from phenomenal bloggers who shared their knowledge about writing, social media and branding. I really did get to eat, play, and laugh with writers and artists who are following their passions and blazing a trail for millions of other women. And I really did get to present to them all at the final night’s keynote address. The best part of it all was that somewhere along the way in the conversations about SEO, PPC and ad models, I made some really good friends.

Once I process the whole experience, I will surely write more posts since I could never fit my thoughts all into one. For now, I am savoring every memory and smiling to myself. I am already excited about going next year!

My own Happiness Project

I've been reading Gretchen Rubin's new book, The Happiness Project. I'm only on chapter 2 (which is all about remembering love) and I can already tell its my kind of book. I have a bent for books that inspire me to stretch beyond the status quo and strive for something just a bit better. It always is worth the read. And I especially like books about happiness. I have total respect for any author that tries to tackle a topic as nebulous and epic as happiness. Its like trying to get rid of the common cold. There are a million remedies for how to make you suffer less, shorten the duration, and cover the symptoms, but there still isn't a real cure.

There are some other great books I've read on happiness. One favorite is Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. This is not an easy read, very scientific, but fascinating none-the-less. "The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task."

Another great book on happiness was What Happy People Know, by Dan Baker, Ph.D. This one was an easy, enjoyable read. One of the points I remember the most was that happy people tend to have positive spins on their past, even if their lives were full of trauma and challenge. Happy people also tend to believe they are lucky.

Happiness, by Mattieu Ricard was another book I read during my happiness bender but I only got half-way through and never finished. Not sure why. It was certainly well-written and well-researched but I think it just never spoke to my heart. If I am in search of knowledge or information, I'll stick it out with a book that doesn't inspire me, just to get at the core of the insight. But if I want motivation or inspiration, you gotta make me FEEL something. Matthieu Ricard was a Buddhist monk so that alone should make me want to finish it, but something must have distracted me. Chocolate cake often does that.

What earnest quest for happiness would be complete without The Art of Happiness by His Holiness The Dalai Lama? I love this geeky leader of Tibet. He came to Denver about 3 years ago and we dragged all the kids to hear him speak. Of course they had the attention spans of gnats but I think you get something out of just being in the presence of enlightenment like that (kinda like fresh air, sunshine, or a big glass of milk). I read this a long time ago and can't even remember what he wrote but I'm sure it was poignant and left some inner animated happiness knight deep in my psyche who still battles my inner pessimism at night with a big Excaliber-like sword while I sleep. Maybe that's why I wake up with headaches.

Why is it that we can read the same advice over and over and still not get it? Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty damn happy. In fact, my nickname growing up was Jolly Holly. Not as classy or cool as some nicknames but evidence I was born with a good, solid dose of contentment. Its just that a lot of these books draw the same conclusions. Happiness is not about money, fame, power, sex, or beauty. Its about things that are deeper, simpler, and so much more within our grasp. In fact, its there for the taking. So why do we make it so hard? I think that is for each person to answer on their own.

I know that I will forget many of the insights I will read about in Gretchen Rubin's book. But I like being in the presence of words about happiness. And when I forget, I'll find the next best-selling book about happiness and read that one. And the next one. And maybe, one day, some of it will start to sink in. And that thought makes me happy :)

First snow

Over the holidays, my brother, his wife, and their 5 year old daughter came to stay with us for a week. It was one of the best holidays I've had in years for several reasons. One, it was wonderful to have family with us. I grew up in rural Maryland, on the water, in a family of seven. My siblings and I now live all over the country, from Maryland, Arkansas, Colorado, to California. We all have families of our own and get together every few years for family reunions and special occasions but there is nothing like having them around for the holidays.

While I wish my parents and siblings, and our families could all be together (there would be 21 of us!), I felt grateful to have even a handful of us.

Another reason it was special was my niece had never seen snow before. Maybe as a baby, but she had no recollection. So guess what it did the second night they were here - IT SNOWED! Big, fluffy flakes that fell for two days straight. Here are a few special pics from that week:



Look closely and you'll see that my brother his writing his daughter's name in the snow with his tracks.

What the kids wanted to leave for Santa - Soy milk, cookies, cheese, and cranberries :)


Evidence that kids have been playing in the snow all day.


The house was a mess, there was mud and snow everywhere, gloves were lost and noses frozen. And I hope it happens again soon.

Why playing by recession-era rules is good for your business

About nine months ago, my business partner, Rustin, and I both quit our full-time jobs to start a Web2.0 company that builds social features for blogs. We had no funding, no office, a few customers, and operated the company from our savings. We both have families to support, mortgages to pay and college educations to save for. What person in their right mind would quit their job during the worst economy since the Great Depression?

Starting a company in the middle of a recession certainly has its challenges. Funding is hard to come by and investors are gun-shy. It’s tougher to get loans and skilled employees who have jobs are less likely to leave for riskier ventures. Consumers have less money to spend on products and are very selective about what they do spend money on. While all those things might be true, with tough times comes great opportunity. There are pools of extremely talented people who are looking for work and willing to take below-market salaries to join a great team. Employees are more flexible about relocating, work hours, and job sharing. Commercial property rates are lower and the cost of travel is down. The challenging economy also means fewer companies will start new ventures, which results in fewer competitors.

From a product perspective, a tight economy and skeptical investment climate forces us to be ruthless in our product development. We don’t have the luxury of going in ten different directions and chasing features that are cool but way outside our core vision (we call those “bright shiny objects”). If we spend one day on something that doesn’t further the goal of solving our customers problems, we have wasted precious time. Competitors with more money and resources will eat our lunch if we take our eye off the ball for a minute.

And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

We are conditioned to think fast, test often, be brutal with priorities and involve feedback from real customers every step of the way.

We still don’t have a fat budget, fancy office or corporate salary. What we do have is a customer base of over 22,000 customers that grows every day. We launch features in weeks, not months. We’re able to advance swiftly in a market where others have retreated with a wait-it-out mentality. We are making significant progress and have overcome hurdles with customers, investors, and competitors. We’re even driving revenue sooner than we thought we would.

Being forced to play by recession-era rules is good for our business. Our gutsy move is paying off and we’re months ahead of where we would be if we’d played it safe and waited. Sometimes what looks like a challenge is really fate handing you a lottery ticket and inviting you to play a bigger game.

BlogFrog and The Children's Hospital

I love it when I get to do marketing that not only benefits our blogging members, but gives back to a worthy cause, too.


This month, BlogFrog is hosting the "Give the gift of community" challenge. For every BlogFrog community that adds 20 new participants between now and the end of the year, BlogFrog will donate $10 to The Children's Hospital, one of the top 10 hospitals serving children and teens.

Here's how to participate:

1. Install a BlogFrog community on your site (if you already have one, you are one step ahead!). Just visit BlogFrog to get instructions on how to install a community (takes 5 minutes).
2. Make sure the widget is high enough to be easily seen by your visitors.
3. Announce your community to your readers in a post and tell them about the "Give the Gift of Community" challenge. For every community that adds 20 new participants (someone who has not participated in your community before and starts a discussion or replies to one) before the end of the year, BlogFrog will donate $10 to The Children's Hospital (up to $400)!
4. Spread the word about your new community by sharing discussions on Twitter and include the #blogfrog hashtag so other BlogFrog members can join and re-tweet.
5. Every community that adds at least 20 new participants during the campaign will be promoted in our next newsletter and on our website as "Blogs that gave the gift of Community".

BlogFrog keeps track of new participants and will be posting about the fund-raising progress in its member's community, on Twitter, and Facebook.

Thanks everyone!

13 ways running a start-up is like having a baby

I have given birth to one child and at least 5 start-ups. I might have a few illegitimate start-ups out there that I don't know about but we'll save that for another post. I had a blinding moment of delusion today with my current start-up where I experienced the exact same feeling I did as the mother of a newborn. It was a day where one microscopic sign of progress overshadowed months of endless challenge, preparation, and self-sacrifice. How can that be?! How can the joy of one tiny hint of improvement elicit a feeling so out of proportion to the work that led up to it?

Then it hit me. The absurd number of ways that running a start-up is like having a baby. Here are my top thirteen:

1. The idea to have a baby, or quit your job to run a start-up during a recession, usually has something to do with tequila.
2. Nausea is the first sign that you are pregnant or have agreed to join a start-up.
3. The vomiting eventually stops in the 2nd trimester, or when you release your beta version, whichever comes first.
4. You are for sure pregnant (or are a shareholder in a start-up) when your partner now owns half of everything that gets produced.
5. You will be too tired for sex until the baby is sleeping thru the night or you've hired someone to handle customer support, whichever comes first.
6. The average birth costs about $50,000 depending on your health insurance policy and PR agency fees.
7. You'll resist the urge to rip a total stranger's kidney out thru their left nostril when they tell you your baby is ugly or that your interface doesn't conform to the latest GUI standards. Even if they're right.
8. It is inevitable that your baby will make a mistake that lands you on the front page of the local paper and gets virally propagated across every social network. You will be subject to much public humiliation and embarrassment until another start-up makes a bigger blunder.
9. Plan to fork over an allowance and expect nothing in return. Somewhere between $10 to $100,000 per week, depending on the economy and the cost of a movie-sized box of Milk Duds.
10. Expect to be infinitely patient as your baby (and start-up) experiments with its identity and then eventually grows up to be something far removed from what you originally planned.
11. You will spend the next 18 years teaching your baby, and your start-up, how to earn money on its own.
12. You will instantly forget how much pain you went thru the moment your baby is acquired by a search engine giant for $230 million dollars.
13. Despite being broke, exhausted, aged, and divorced, you will decide to do it all over again.
    

Wordless Wednesday: What happens when you take teenagers grocery shopping......