The lost art of saying Thank You

When we were kids, Mom would make the five of us sit down after Christmas (and birthdays or any occasion where we received a gift) and make us write thank you notes. She had cards, paper, envelopes, stamps, and even all the addresses. All we had to do was sit still, stop for a moment to remember someone's thoughtfulness, and say thanks.

From our perspective, you'd think we were being asked to milk the cows at dawn or scrub the toilets. We hated it then, but 20 years later, my appreciation for that tradition has grown (had the same experience with my Dad's classical music. It annoyed us as kids and now I have a wonderful affinity for Bach). I appreciate her efforts to teach us to be grateful for the kindness of others.

I woke up on New Year's Day thinking about how often people do something nice for us in a day (whether we know about it or not) and how many opportunities we have to say "thank you". Some scientists believe that human's can't simultaneously feel anger and gratefulness at the same time. So if our hearts and minds are thinking consciously about something we are thankful for, anger cannot co-exist in that moment. I find that fascinating.

So just for a day, I challenge you (and myself) to be on the lookout for all the things that friends, family and strangers do for you and make a point to express your thanks. If you sincerely thank someone and for a second they become grateful that you recognized their act of kindness, then they can't be feeling anger or offense either! That's a 100% return on your gratefulness investment :)

To my sweet friends, who let me vent about my frustrations:

To my boys, for reminding me to play:

To my mentors, who keep me motivated and inspired:


To the cashier at the supermarket, who let me run back to exchange an item even though there were are people behind me:


To the people at Midas, who tightened my oil filter for free last week:

To my partner (and favorite engineer), who makes me feel loved every day:


Who can you thank?

First snow

Over the holidays, my brother, his wife, and their 5 year old daughter came to stay with us for a week. It was one of the best holidays I've had in years for several reasons. One, it was wonderful to have family with us. I grew up in rural Maryland, on the water, in a family of seven. My siblings and I now live all over the country, from Maryland, Arkansas, Colorado, to California. We all have families of our own and get together every few years for family reunions and special occasions but there is nothing like having them around for the holidays.

While I wish my parents and siblings, and our families could all be together (there would be 21 of us!), I felt grateful to have even a handful of us.

Another reason it was special was my niece had never seen snow before. Maybe as a baby, but she had no recollection. So guess what it did the second night they were here - IT SNOWED! Big, fluffy flakes that fell for two days straight. Here are a few special pics from that week:



Look closely and you'll see that my brother his writing his daughter's name in the snow with his tracks.

What the kids wanted to leave for Santa - Soy milk, cookies, cheese, and cranberries :)


Evidence that kids have been playing in the snow all day.


The house was a mess, there was mud and snow everywhere, gloves were lost and noses frozen. And I hope it happens again soon.