After three years of alternating houses to keep life sane for our kids, my boyfriend and I finally decided to merge our families and contain the insanity under one roof. We’ve been house-hunting for about seven months and politely removed our shoes in dozens of lovely houses in our price range and in the right neighborhoods. Many of them were perfectly logical, practical, and emotional matches for what we wanted. But something was missing. While I highly recommend being faithful to the sacred list of "must-haves", I think there is an influence that can quickly trump the presence (or absence) of any word-burning fireplace or jetted tub. It’s the theory of relativity. One of the many reasons I love Albert Einstein. When he showed up, the search was done.
Einstein theorized that matter and energy can distort space and time in the same way a heavy ball placed on piece of fabric will sink and warp the shape of the fabric. If time and space exist on a plane that can be folded and twisted because of large objects like planets, the theory is that one's experience on that otherwise chronological (aka straight line) timeline could get folded and distorted as well. If time could be folded in half, then its also possible that two otherwise very distant “periods of time” could come very close together, which, of course, fueled Einstein’s belief in time travel. For example, the ends of a folded piece of paper are closer together than if that paper were flat. Hmm, I'm getting off track, here.
So, what does any of this have to do with my mortgage? Well, the house we bought had something none of the others had. I felt this familiarity and sense of entitlement, like I'd just found that Buffalo nickel I'd lost 5 years ago. Just because it was lost doesn't mean it still wasn't mine, right? The more time I spent walking around the hallways, leaning up against the kitchen counter, and hearing footsteps on the hardwood floors, the more I knew it was our house. Not because of some past life thing. But because I remembered it as part of what is going to happen. It felt like it was already my house only someone else was living there. Say a person’s space/timeline is indeed a linear path, and we exist at only one point on that line at any given moment. If it’s a continuum, why can't I have as much connection to the space and time ahead of me as I do the space and time in back of me? Why couldn't I just as easily recognize a house, person or place from my future as I could from my past? What if that whole timeline already has been defined from beginning to end and we limit ourselves by believing the only part of the road that’s been built is behind us? I think this happens all the time with people. Its more than just deja vu.
We've owned the home for three days but won't move for another month, near the end of the school year. But now I'm antsy. Mentally and emotionally, I already live on Bobwhite Lane and feel like I'm now the one living in someone else's house. I want to jump the tracks and be on the timeline that has me drinking coffee on THAT back porch, not THIS kitchen table.
My son doesn't buy any of this at all. He thinks I just like the cool remote that works the way-high-up window shades.