On being 40-something

Today is my birthday. Let’s just say I’m 40-something. As with most moms these days, my life is pretty hectic. My weeks are an exercise in master scheduling with three teens, sports events, band practice, after school activities, crazy hair day, yard work, and the full-time job of helping to run a company. This weekend, though, I took some time to reflect on my life and tried to put the past few decades into perspective. What came to mind first were the physical changes I’ve noticed from when I was in my twenties. I still work out almost every day but weights are no match for gravity. I go to bed earlier, I forget things, and I would rather read a book than crank rock tunes until my ears ring. And though that nostalgic list goes on and on, I would not trade being 40-something for anything.

When it comes to age, our culture has a love affair being young and encourages us to fear getting older. Today I want to be a voice for celebrating the beauty of being over 40. By the time we are 40, we are usually done trying to compare ourselves with everyone else’s looks, status, body, wealth, and achievements. There is a lovely, liberating moment where we finally see how exhausting that was anyway and how stupid and futile the whole exercise really is.

By the time we are 40, we get to say we know something. We know something about babies, about money, about health. We know something about politics, the environment, and relationships. I’ve been married, had a baby, been divorced, and was a single parent for over a decade. I’ve also flown a plane and a helicopter, been skydiving, met monks in Burma, started my own company, and last year, I ran my first marathon. I didn’t do those things because I had something to prove to anyone. I did them because I wanted to. I just wanted to see what it felt like.

It is incredibly inspiring knowing we don’t need anyone’s permission to live our lives the way we want to. Do we have responsibilities with work, relationships and family? Absolutely. Do they define who we are as women? Absolutely not.

I know myself better now than I ever have in the past. I am my own best friend and I finally trust my own judgment. I get to take 40+ years of experience and use it to live the next 40 the most amazing way I know how. And that is a pretty cool thought. So here’s to all of us who are loving the wisdom of being “slightly mature” and there’s a big hug waiting for all of you who look have this awesome age to look forward to.